You itch to speak a word
Or even get something right
That time when you yield to someone
And didn’t take your own side.
Water may split into several
And the reservoirs you created
To reserve your best
And lost it to a bet when there was a chance.
I create the disturbance; lay all your burdens
It’s my time to move as time is not my own
This is my requiem, bring some peace
I see it as I am buried.
I thought my early days were fawner
Hazed by forgotten and numbered days
I had one pen, one voice and different minds to keep up with
Yet I couldn’t keep up with my own.
It began in the brighter days
When my days weren’t bright at all
I saw lines as vividly as I can
And friends were none to keep.
I was just a tourist
Passing by their lives
Peeping through the lens
Of which I shouldn’t lie.
I made the art alive
Breath as fresh as it can ever be
Perhaps to be broken by someone
Younger after all.
Never be an element of reality
It hurts people
They can’t see the neutrals
I don’t know what they would do when they encounter chaotics.
I come off in the shades of green
Carrying a red umbrella
Revealing the inside bleak.
I shadow the broken, the depth and the unsolved
And pitch the unwoven puzzles
Into decryptic numbers.
That’s what I am
That’s what who I was
Now I have a name to put it
Yet you shadowed it as well.
The music played loud too well for our ears to begin
it was our first dance that started in the rain
though it was our last.
I never liked the thunder
for it was accompanied with nothing but pangs of sadness and disasters
none I could swear by
his kisses were undone and half
and promises broken like everything else.
I wish you could be more mysterious
’cause you haven’t solved my mystery
woven with memories and unsaved data
and the honey-coloured skies.
Preliminary is the stage from where we start
yet we go back to it when we reach the end
the fire speaks for itself
the unspoken words of tragedy and despair that made me cry in the summers
I reach for air but it strangles me with its words
I have none to give it back
there are words that can be left understood
but you defy my means and my needs to challenge the words
can we come to closure and make peace to ourselves?